My trans journey as a 90s kid — Bear Blog Carnival #4

08 Dec, 2025

ℹ️ This post is an entry to Bear Blog Carnival, a collective initiative organized by Cris.

Being trans is hard, but being so in a time where it wasn't even a thing collectively is harder. Taking a look back I might have known I was trans from a young age, yet there wasn't anything to validate those feelings because huh, "turning into a girl" is such a sci-fi concept, right?

So yeah, don't mind me if I go through a mental list of things that were a huge flag that at the time I had no idea what it meant:

Goth Lolita Evangelion pics

The year is 2007, I'm 14 and we're all emo as fuck. Don't get me wrong, I never stopped being so and especially after transitioning, but this is exactly my point: Goth lolita fashion was so damn beautiful I wished I could wear like that. I damned my existence because I never cared about man fashion, unlike the other side: both emo and goth lolita fashion was just perfect. And there I was... being a boy.

Oh girl, if you just knew.

Pokémon main character's gender

I played Pokémon since the first gen, and there was no gendered characters back then. You were just Red on the first one and Gold on the second. But then the third gen arrived. (Okay, it happened on Pokémon Crystal, the expanded version of the second gen, but I already had Silver so my parents weren't going to buy me that one)

In my first playthrough I chose the masculine character by inertia, that's what I played as all my life after all; but in those days we had not lots of games easily available like today, so multiple replays were going to happen anyway. And eventually... Is it wrong if I choose the girl character? If someone sees that, what would they think..? But she looks so much cooler...

Maybe the boy wasn't what actually represented me in the end.

Kobayashi's Dragon Maid

This is actually one of the latest before finally knowing a friend who transitioned, realizing it all and jumping ship into the trans world. And if you think about it, it might sound so damn silly.

Just look at the main character, Tohru. Always loved french maid dresses to death, but ALSO a dragon girl?? Goddamn it, she's just like me: hyperactive, hopelessly pervert but at the same time affectionate and caring... I felt a deep necessity to cosplay as her, and my sister was also on board as she loved the child-like gal, Kanna. There was just an issue, I was not a girl and it would look ridiculous on me.

...Or was I?

♾️ Related: Bear Blog Carnival (December 2025)

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